I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It was confusing and full of hummus
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
