Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
