My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
