Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
