He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
birth control should be required to get into college
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
