Yo dont text me then not text me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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