I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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