I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
