when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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