found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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