Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
