The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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