Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
