If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
