I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Are my feet made of real feet?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
