I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
