you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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