Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
