She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
