i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
