She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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