that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You are the jesus of drinking
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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