grandma shit on top of the toilet
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize