Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
there is glitter all over my balls
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