Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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