She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
