i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
