so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
