Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
