Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
