She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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