office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
it's like iHOP with fire
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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