Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
