let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize