Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
