Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
