You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
