the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
