I'm going to jail i love you
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
