Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
