She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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