please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
