It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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