all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
