you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
