no. you can't hotbox the world.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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