i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
