So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
