The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
