I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
