She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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