I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
