mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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