ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize