North Korea, Best Korea!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
