Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We talked him into tasing himself.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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