How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
