remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
