Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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