Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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