btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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