It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
