I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My penis needs a shock collar
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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