he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
