hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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