sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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