oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can you bring me the toilet please
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
