I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
