So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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