I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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