considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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