She's JV to your varsity
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
