Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
