i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
