You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
