I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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