what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
