Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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