whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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