Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
